Navigating The New Normal

I think we all can agree that the normal life we once knew will be altered forever in some way. 

With the intensity of our country and the world right now, we may be finding ourselves navigating quite a bit. As a highly sensitive person/empath, it may feel extra overwhelming these past several months and especially the past few weeks. We are amid a global health pandemic, an economic crisis, an election year, police brutality in our country, and the Black Lives Matter movement. Just one of these is a lot to take in and process, let alone all simultaneously happening. 

I've sat down to write something multiple times with each revision, not fully feeling right because, honestly, I'm a slow processor, and there's been so much to take in at once. My perspective on life and any situation involve looking at all angles and as many layers as I can identify. 

To navigate moving forward when so much seems layered and complicated right now, I aim to find the root of what is going on to better support ourselves. 

What I see right now is a collective trauma experience with our nervous systems highly activated with everything we are coping with and taking in daily. As you may know, when our nervous systems become activated, we can go into a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. Anytime we feel threatened (our jobs, income, home, health, beliefs, etc.), we become triggered, and our nervous system responds. 

When in fight mode, we tend to confront something, possibly even aggressively. Fight mode can show up as feeling defensive, heated conversations, being very passionate and vocal, and the protests are a great example of this. It's the need to be reactive, take action, and to stand up for something. 

When in flight mode, you want to run from the actual or perceived danger. Flight mode could show up as avoidance, escapism, denial, or dissociation with our current reality. Physically you may be restless, fidgeting more than usual, and needing to be on the go, actively busy, or to hide. 

When in freeze mode, it's just that, you feel frozen from being able to do anything. Feeling overwhelmed, wanting to take action, but feeling unable to do so, or depression could be a few ways this show ups. It's staying still until you figure out the next move.

When in fawn mode, it's similar to wanting to avoid or hide from the situation but taking the approach of complying with whatever the threat is. Fawn mode is where people-pleasing comes into play. We have a survival need and will do whatever we need to to get the need met even if it means disrespecting ourselves in some way. 

These are the survival techniques our body needs to respond to an actual or perceived danger on a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual level.  Its place is to keep us safe, yet staying activated daily can take its toll on the body. It can weaken the immune system, show up as anxiety, depression, or physical ailments. The endocrine system typically takes a substantial hit when our nervous system is consistently activated, leaving us feeling dysregulated. 

So how do we navigate what the new normal is? 

I believe it starts with knowing we are bouncing between several, if not all, of our nervous system responses. When we can recognize which mode we may be in, we can better navigate how to set ourselves up for finding clarity on what we need to move forward productively and from a grounded physical state of being. 

When we feel more energetic and confident, we are better able to know how to move forward. There are endless options on what you may need in each mode, so knowing yourself, your needs, and possibly working with someone to help you move forward is ultimately up to you to decide. 

A few ways to help regulate your nervous system are: eating a balanced diet, getting plenty of rest, putting your legs up the wall, meditation, massaging your feet, drinking plenty of water, setting boundaries, exercising, talking to someone supportive, lengthening your exhale, etc.

Navigating our new normal will be a process of trying something, receiving the feedback, and course-correcting as necessary. I believe extending compassion to ourselves and others right now as we all begin to find our new normal is essential. Please don't mistake that for not being treated with respect from others, though. 

I know this is a very emotionally charged time, and I feel if we can approach differing opinions with respect and actual listening, can real progress happen for anyone. Disrespect or disregard for other people's experiences and opinions often leaves people feeling defensive, in a shame spiral, or feeling wholly unacknowledged, unheard, and unvalidated as a human with emotions.

Understanding or changing someone's mind never happens in these states and often furthers challenges in the relationship. Boundaries are essential right now as we all continue to learn, be passionate about our values, respectful, and to figure out what we need to move forward.

We've all been dealing with quite a bit since this pandemic started. Wherever you find yourself with your nervous system as you navigate so much, please keep supporting yourselves and staying healthy. 

Keep Shining,

Laura